✿ The packing then unpacking of all of my books prompted me to start reading the Harry Potter books for the first time since the final book was released – ten years ago. I enjoyed getting re-acquainted with a universe I haven't played in for ages, but while I was reading the first two books I did find myself wondering how I'd fallen into fandom so hard before... then I got to the third book, and I started to remember. ❤ Once I've finished reading the books I'll have to marathon the films.
✿ I'm not spending much time online at the moment. Part of it is the move and unpacking, but the other part is just... I'm remembering what it feels like to exist without feeling watched, without feeling censored. I'm not feeling the need, right now, to be tethered to the computer 24/7 to escape. Once I'm all settled in I'll be around more often, I'm sure, but right now, other things have priority.
✿ Speaking of settling in: the cats are starting to. Parker has picked his favourite cupboard (sigh), Tiko's picked his favourite chair, and the rest are starting to lounge around and play with each other rather than hiding. They're also all being super-affectionate... I mean, even more than usual. I'm basically under a carpet of cats at all times.
* Both platonic and romantic relationships count for this - eee.
|Yuuri K/Minami||Phichit/Leo||Otabek/Yuri P||Yuuri K/Victor||Michele/Emil|
|Chris/Yuuri K||Yuuri K/Yuri P||Phichit/Yuuri K||Mila/Victor||Otabek/Victor|
|Leo/Guang-Hong||Minami/Yuri P||Emil/Sara||Seung Gil/JJ||Leo/JJ|
✿ Leaving the house I'm in is going to be such a positive thing, for me - I've been so unhappy here. Too many memories, and most of them negative. The cats will love the new place, too; there are big windows with wide sills for them to sit on.
✿ Two fic exchange deadlines are creeping up on me - Not Prime Time is in just over two weeks and Rare Ships!!! on Ice is in a month. And, uh, both my fics are drafted. I'm surprised. Usually at this point I'd still be struggling to flesh out ideas into things worth writing. I don't promise that either of the drafted fics are going to be brilliant, and they do need a pile of editing, but at least they exist?
✿ There are four cedar waxwings sitting on a branch directly outside my bedroom window and the cats are having absolute fits.
✿ I meant to do something useful yesterday but I ended up nesting in a pile of blankets and watching Y!OI and Voltron. Oops.
First off: I'm not at all difficult to please. I'll likely be delighted with whatever you write, so please don't stress over it.
General things I love:
❖ strong/intense friendship
❖ missing canon scenes and/or reactions to canon scenes
❖ all kinds of moods, from quiet to bittersweet to angsty to funny to intense to fluffy
❖ slice-of-life and/or character studies
❖ simple everyday non-schmoop romance
❖ hurt/comfort - especially emotional wounds or injuries sustained by athletes or in combat
❖ stoic characters cracking around the edges
❖ casual touching and physical affection (between friends and/or romantic partners)
❖ non-penetrative sex (don't feel like you have to include smut, though)
❖ banter and/or banter during sex
❖ autumn and/or winter themes
❖ found families
❖ canon compliance is great but not necessarily required
❖ both gen- and ship-based stories are equally wonderful
❖ character bashing
❖ incest (Silm cousincest is fine, though)
❖ non-con, dub-con, or infidelity (open relationships are fine)
❖ A/B/O and/or mpreg
❖ non-canon character death
❖ D/s, BDSM, kinks involving bodily fluids
❖ marriage proposals and/or ceremonies
❖ animal harm
❖ mundane AU or AUs involving vampires or zombies
❖ religious themes
❖ over-the-top emo declarations of love
I've listed prompts below in case you'd like a starting point, but please don't feel like you have to use them, or that these are the only stories I'd enjoy. If you have different ideas, feel free to go with them!
( On to the prompts... )
✿ For those of you who are into Yuri!!! on Ice, rareshipsonice is taking nominations soon. The minimum is low (just 500 words) and there's an absolute ton of pairings that are eligible. It'll be nice to get some good content for some of the ships that don't get as much love in fandom.
✿ My fic exchange plans for the spring/summer are the exchange I just mentioned, plus not_primetime. NPT has all three of the fandoms - Yuri!!! on Ice, Stand Still Stay Silent, and Silmarillion - that I'm most into right now, so I'm excited about that.
✿ Dear self, #2: You're allowed to write your own ideas. Prompts and generators are both fabulous things, but you don't have to use them 100% of the time. You don't have to dismiss all of your own ideas as terrible and/or not worth writing.
✿ Dear self, #3: Maybe the reason you feel that you write the same thing all the time is because you kinda do - but it's because you won't let yourself take chances and risk screwing up. Get out of your safe zone, ffs.
✿ Synchronised Screaming continues to be the highlight of my week. I'm awful at completing flashfic on time - what usually happens is that I jot down the idea for something then set it aside for a week or so before I get back to writing it, oi - but the chat is wonderful and it's so nice to be able to get together with people I like.
✿ Work return is... uh. Not going well. I made it through ten minutes of yesterday's shift; 30 minutes of the one before that. I'm trying so hard, but my subconscious and my body seem to be doing their best to screw with me. I move in two months, though; this has to sort itself out before then.
I feel... uncreative, lately. I want to write nearly constantly, but I don't find myself with a lot of ideas to work with. I'm not sure why. Even my prompt generators aren't pinging a whole lot, tbh - I love the prompts that come out of them but often revert to "..." when it comes time to turn them into workable ideas. I should try some free-writing to prompts and see where that gets me.
Difficult week for writing. The inner critic has been loud, loud, loud. It's been such a rollercoaster, lately - I'm going wildly back and forth between whee-I-finished-a-thing-I-finished-a-
Have been skating all week - eee! I found a public skate (at the rink the next town over) that has reasonable rules (unlike the one in town) and there are usually only a few skaters on the ice, giving me some room to move.
Synchronised Screaming's first weekly flashfic challenge/chat is tomorrow, and I'm excited. Prompts have been submitted and are ready to roll. I'm hoping for a decent turnout. I hope I can get this thing off the ground.
The brain-weasels have not been kind to me these past few days. For once I actually know why it's happening, so I guess, IDK, it's a little easier to manage than usual? Could just be that I'm finally starting to feel better on the whole, though, and that makes setbacks less all-consuming.
– Still off work. My return date is creeping ever-closer, though – I have less the a month to go. Two weeks until my next doctor's appointment, when we'll sign off on the papers I need to go back. I just hope my mind and body are both ready for it, because I know the consequences of starting before I can handle it. I have very few options left if I can't.
– Lir has learned to flush the toilet and keeps doing it at every opportunity. Sigh. He keeps waking me up in a panic at night because I think someone's in the house.
– Speaking of the house, I'm finally moving out of it. When my parents told me to get out so they could sell in the spring, my first reaction was panic. Work's been so on-and-off that living here rent-free (paying all the utilities and taxes, of course) has saved my butt more than once. But it's time to move on, and regardless of the resulting financial strain I think it's going to be a positive thing for me. There are so many memories, in this house, and most of them aren't good; plus, since I moved here my parents have been blaming me for all the things they neglected (and 'neglect' firmly sums up their treatment of this house even while they lived here) to fix before they moved out. Having my own place again will be a relief, if nothing else. Maybe I can find some peace, again.
– I'm wearing pajamas with a raccoon hood, complete with stick-up ears and a tail on the back. Living alone means nobody can tell me to act my age. Pfft.
– I've been angsting over writing even more than usual, lately. It seems the only way I can avoid my inner critic shaming me into not being able to get words on a page, right now, is to make myself tired enough for her to quiet down. It's a particular sort of timing – it's when I've stayed up past the time I'd usually go to bed, when I've gone through the gah-so-tired-must-sleep phase and into my second wind, and then I manage to write – slowly, but that's my usual speed – until I can't prop my eyes open any longer. Last night I didn't even start writing until 2am. Blargh. It's just absolutely ridiculous that I should have this many issues tied up in fic-writing, ffs.
First of all, please don't stress too much over writing or making art for me! I'm not difficult to please, and I'll likely be delighted with whatever you come up with. I've listed prompts below, for characters and/or relationships, but don't feel like you absolutely must use them. If you have different ideas, go with them!
❖ ❖ ❖
General things I love in the SSSS universe: Strong/intense friendship, missing scenes, reactions to (or fallout from) canon events, slice-of-life, quiet and/or fluffy moments, bittersweet moments, angst or hurt/comfort, all kinds of relationship dynamics (be they familial, friendship, romantic, or anything else), casual touching and physical affection/comfort (including between friends as well as romantic partners), banter, competence, characters who fail but keep trying, found families, storms, autumn or winter themes, the aftermath of troll/ghost encounters. Canon compliance is great but so is AU (especially fork-in-the-road AU).
Things I'm not fond of: character bashing in any form, infidelity, non-con or dub-con, A/B/O, kinks involving bodily fluids, gore/violence beyond canon levels, incest, marriage proposals/ceremonies, pregnancy, animal harm, high school/college/etc. AU, vampires or zombies, Christmas-themed stories (Yule or other cultural/spiritual celebrations are fine), non-canon permanent character death (presumed dead is a-ok).
( And now, for prompts! )
Mine is here: Full Circle (Erestor/Haldir in East Lórien sometime in the Fourth Age). It wasn't what I'd hoped to create, but it turned out all right.
First off: I'm easy to please. I'll likely be delighted with whatever you write or draw, so please don't stress over it!
General things I love: Strong/intense friendship, character study, slice-of-life, missing canon moments and/or the fallout from canon moments, relationship dynamics (between family or friends or romantic partners), bittersweet moments, angst or hurt/comfort (especially emotional wounds or injuries sustained in combat), stoic characters cracking around the edges, simple everyday non-schmoop romance, casual touching and physical affection, banter, banter during sex, autumn and winter, storms. For the 'trick' side of this exchange I'd also be pleased with atmospheric creepiness or the aftermath of combat.
Canon compliance is great but I'm fine with AU (especially fork-in-the-road AU). I like smut but it's not a requirement. I love both gen- and ship-based things. Gen for any of my requested characters would be great; for shippy things I like Finrod/Maglor, Fingon/Maedhros, Erestor/Gildor, Reynir/Lalli, Emil/Lalli, or Reynir/Onni. Aredhel or Arwen paired up with another female elf would also be lovely.
Things I'm really not fond of: Parent/Child or sibling incest (Silmarillion cousincest is fine), character bashing, infidelity, non-con, mpreg, A/B/O, non-canon character death, kinks involving bodily fluids, gore/violence beyond the level presented in canon, marriage proposals/ceremonies, animal harm, high school/college/etc. AUs, crossovers, vampires or zombies, religious themes, over-the-top emo declarations of loooove.
The cats were delighted with it, at any rate, but I meant to do a huge chunk of photo editing, plus more than cursory walk-throughs of my routines for tomorrow (my studio's end-of-season recital is tomorrow, and I'm photographing all the numbers I don't dance in), plus stuff around the house that I haven't been able to get done in the past weeks, and alskdjfklajsdlf.
But it's done. It's too short (just over the word limit) – damn my non-wordiness – but it's done, and it's the first fic I've posted since AinA 2014.
I miss Middle-earth. Wow, do I miss it. I've been so caught up with the shelter and photography that I've not made time for it in my brain. And I regret that.
|You Are a Creative|
Like everyone else, you have a to-do list... but you don't always prioritize getting around to it.
I don't think it's entirely a coincidence that my most productive writing years were also the years that some fandoms were overwhelmingly active on LJ. That's not the only factor, but it definitely helped. There was always something sparking one idea or the other.
Writing is coming slowly, these days. I'm struggling with this year's AinA more than I've struggled with any other SS exchange in the last few years. I feel strangely disconnected with the material, which is odd because it's not like my love for it has decreased at all. I wish I had time to go back and just re-read the Silm from start to finish, taking my time, sinking into it all over again. And then go read some good fic. And see where that gets me.
My issue, too, is that I want to fit it all in. I want to spend enough time with my camera to be excellent at what I do. I want to write. I want to make things out of yarn or paper or wood or ceramic or whatever else I have in my craft stash. I want to read. I want to spend time online with the people I adore and have things to talk about rather than just rambling about the same things over and over.
I'm not sure what this ramble is, anymore. It started out as one thing and it's morphing into something else.